Don't Ride in Cars with Strangers
by Leela's tears
Summary: Bebe Stevens couldn't handle the heartbreaks of highschool. Her friend Wendy shows her how to live again, but is it really what Bebe wants? Will Bebe discover if love really exists? Is her old crush Kyle a thing of the past that she can't let go? R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Before I forget, DISCLAIMER, I do not own South Park.

**AN:** Hey I'm back. Finals are over, finally a break from college. So I'm not sure how I feel about this story yet, but I would sure love to have a beta. And review are always greatly appreciated :) I found my weakness is tenses so if someone could point any of those mistakes out for me, i'd be nice. Well, hope you guys enjoy! It's a Kyle/Bebe or is it? dumdumdum All from Bebe's pov, she is rarely a main character. Warning- this is really angsty, lol. OK, here we go

* * *

"My name is Bebe- Bebe Stevens. I am... I am sev- sevente-..." 

"Please Ms. Stevens. We need you to speak clearly and loudly into the tape recorder. There is nothing to be afraid of."

The officer pressed his hand down on the table, balancing his weight carefully in a powerful manner. I could feel my body shaking and my eyes tighten shut, as if I couldn't see anything it wouldn't be there.

"Muh- my- my name?"

I couldn't do it. I couldn't say the words. Not my name, but what had to come next.

"All right then miss, please take a moment to collect yourself and we will continue shortly."

They left the cold bland room. As soon as they did I couldn't hold it in anymore. I break down, like so many nights before. Tears spill out and I hold my chest, wondering: since when did it get so hard to breathe? They were probably watching me through that fake mirror up on the wall. I don't care anymore. I just don't give a damn. I've been degraded and embarrassed enough. Things can't get any worse. I bury my head in my arms, trying to push myself further into the table in hopes I'll disappear. I hear my voice crack into a howling whine and I've realized I've gotten too loud. I don't even recognize the sound. Soon my parents would be here. Who knows maybe the press will show up. This isn't what I wanted... not at all. Sure I could tell them what's been happening tonight, but they still wouldn't understand. No, to get the whole picture, I'd have to tell the entire thing.

* * *

Dear Kyle, 

I haven't written to you "a letter you are never to recieve" since I was fifteen, but I figured why not. Senior year of high school- no high school in general sucked. How I missed the simple life of South Park elementary school. I took it for granted. See by then my heart bad been fucked around by guys so much that I had given up all hope. It was my fault. I'm just the type of person who is too insecure, too shy, too lonely and most of all too desperate- but you'd already know this... wouldn't you? I used to think there was someone for every one out there. Knowing you always kept up this facade in my mind.

_There are different types of love and then there's romantic love. Why is it that romantic love is different from all the other types of love? All the other types of love can be shared with more than one person, but romantic love can only be shared with one person. So why is that? Then again you wouldn't want to share romantic love with more than one person or have somebody love you and another person? For me, the answer is no. So what is so special about this person and what defines love? Well, it's a mix of strong feelings. A person has to possess physical attractive qualities, chemistry, mentally clicks, etc. But what is so special about these things? Cause you can find these in more than one person. So what separates friendship from something more? This is why people date more than one person? So how does one find this person? Do people go through life not even knowing what true love is? Does each person find someone they deserve? What if that person lives on the other side of the world? Is there fate to bring those people together or is it all random chance? Also if love is unconditional and you are rejected by someone then you should continue loving them no matter what, right? The fact that you get over that person and move on, means you never really loved them truly. So love has to involve two mutual people._- And this is how I drive myself insane... There are too many unanswered questions and from personal experience love is all bullshit. All lies, all fake and only a dream, only something we can achieve by watching a hollywood movie.

If I was nothing without love, then why care if I lived at all? So I figured if I am so close to wanting death, then why not live life on the edge till then? Maybe I will actually find what I'm looking for. Maybe I won't. The life I decided to live was one that only stereotypical "bad girls" had. I wasn't one of them, but to me they looked so happy. There had to be something there. Something I was missing. See I didn't want to just "give up" and commit plain old boring angst teenage suicide. I mean why do that and be another forgotten face in a small newspaper article? I rather choose to go out in tragedy. Or at least make it look like one because I'd have this secret double life that not my family or friends would know about. Basically I wanted to go out in a blaze and that's when I met Wendy- again.

* * *

"Bebe? Bebe!" 

Wendy nudged me in the side. I awoke from my daze. My mind slowly realized it was at work. There was a cash register going berserk in front of me and a long line of angry people.

"Bebe, quit day dreaming! What did you do? Kevin is going to be pissed."

I slowly began trying to remember which key I must've pressed by accident. The register kept giving off a high pitched beeping sound and it was drawing much attention. I just stood aside as Wendy tried to fix it for me. I blocked out the complaints and shouts of the customers. That's what you had to do. Learn to block it out or else you would go crying home every night, thinking what a horrible world it is we live in.

Wendy, she was my best friend in elementry school and broke up with Stan Marsh. I guess after that she didn't feel the need to continue going on to South Park High. She moved to Nebraska. We lost touch. It was the summer before senior year that my dad thought me getting a job would instill some sense of responsiblity and I found Wendy working here at the local Stop & Shop. She had gotten the job a couple of weeks before me so we sort of got trained together. She told me how her dad lost his job and they couldn't think of a better place to go, so why not move back? Apart we were innocent, but together we naturally just caused problems. Our most favorite thing to do was annoy our manager, Kevin. Like for example, taking lunch breaks at the same time even though we weren't suppose to. We honestly didn't have a lot in common anymore except we both had broken hearts and hated men with a passion. Revenge is all I wanted and she was one to help me get it. Her motto was: "Let them think they are playing you, when we'll actually be the ones having all the fun." Then she'd wink. Sometimes I don't know what I would've done withour her.

"O, shit. Here comes Kevin."

We both turn our heads and watch our manager come marching over with that scowl that's always plastered on his face.

"What did you two do now!"

I fiddled with the nametag pinned to the smock we are forced to wear, accidently pricking my pointer finger.

"I'm sorry Kevin. I must have-"

"Save it." He spats as his tall figure bends over to take a closer look at the machine. The florescent light reflected off his head, making it shiny like the recently cleaned floor.

I didn't really mean I was sorry. Wendy and I always just wanted to humor him. As he tried to console a customer, we stood behind him and snickered. We hated our job and could care less, but we needed the money.

"You're both going to be fired if you don't quit fooling around. I swear." Kevin stepped away so I could reclaim my post.

Wendy giggled, "Uh, huh Kevin. Sure you'll fire us."

"I will. You just keep it up and you'll see."

"Please Kevin, you need us." I remind him.

He shakes his head without responding and walks away. Yeah, he knows he needs us. No one else would take this job and put up with his shit. As much as it seemed we hated him, we secretly appreciated the way he also put up with us- like hell we'd ever let him find out.

It was fifteen minutes to closing and by then we were all antsy. Wendy had planned for us to go out to a bar and dance place called McAbles.

"Open bar from ten to midnight. So we have to drink up as much as we can till then. And all the underage college guys go here cause they don't ID. It'll be one sick time. So remember to skank it up." She winked at me and I laughed.

Before Wendy met me I was lost. I was depressed and didn't know what to do with myself. Then one night she dressed me up and took me out clubbing and from then on history was made. We were two infamous girls out to get trashed and fucked and perhaps get away with murder- ok well maybe not that far. In all truthfulness we were simply wannabe pair of Thelma and Louise. No one had to know though. We could pretend to be whoever we wanted and people bought it.

* * *

"Where you going tonight pumpkin?" 

My dad, Doctor Stevens, sat in the arm chair watching some special on the Discovery Channel.

"I'm not coming back till tomorrow daddy. I'm sleeping over Wendy's house."

"O, that friend from work?" His eyes never left the screen, as if the TV was telling him something about the dinosaurs he didn't already know after watching it for the millionth time.

"Yup."

"Does your mom know?"

"Yeah."

"All right then, have fun."

It was that easy. Technically I wasn't lying. I was sleeping over Wendy's house- just after we went to that bar.

I heard a car honk serveral times and grabbed my purse and coat, while slipping on my shoes.

"Bye dad!" I ran out to meet Wendy. She was sitting in the drivers seat of her mom's crappy Mazda sedan. It was like driving a tin can around, but it was better then no ride at all.

"Love your outfit." I told her, noting her tank top and black lace skirt as I slid into the passenger seat.

"Likewise. Now let's go." She lit up a cigarrette and offered me one. I waved my hand away. Wendy knows I'm a drinker, not a smoker, but she still insists on offering me everytime.

The car puttered off towards the main road and I fired up the radio.


	2. Chapter 2

Wendy and I entered the place and slowly took in our surroundings. At first glance you would've thought I was like every other girl there, some slut looking for a good time. That's what I liked in a way. I didn't have to be myself. Not shy and timid and afraid. Being around Wendy gave me confidence. She was the type of person who if was in a situation where she had no control over anything, she'd still pretend to act like she was incharge and running the show. Although if you talk to any of my elementary school friends about me, they'll definitely say I was always hiding my wild side. Even though we have never been at this particular place before, it was familiar cause we've been to so many of these joints. There was a long bar stretching along the right side of the wall and some tables and chairs tucked away against the left wall. A pool table was in the middle with a bunch of rowdy guys surrounding it and beyond that a dance floor.

"Under 21?" The scruffy looking bouncer at the door stopped us. There was no sense in lying. We both nodded and he stamped our hand. I always hated that part, it felt so humiliating being branded to not drink. Even though in a place like this it didn't matter, it still bugs me. Wendy and I headed straight for the bar. As we made our way through the crowd to try and squeeze our way near enough to the bar to shout an order, I noticed through the darkness the stamp was glowing a neon green under the UV light. I quickly put my hand down at my side, just in case. The truth was the bartenders don't ask, you don't tell- unless you're a freaking idiot. The music, which was hip hop and regatone- not my favorites, pounded in our ears. We moved to the back of the place on the dance floor. There were guys lurking about, as if stalking prey. The girls were displaying the goods. A site like this would've made the old me sick, but the new me wanted badly to be a part of it.

Coke and rum- a beer- Jack Daniel's- something with Malibu- long island icetea- shot of vodka- don't remember- forget- don't remember- forget- another shot of vodka- um...? Repeat.  
That was basically the night in a nutshell. In between was dancing with whoever wanted to and making out with whoever wanted to. Time flies by pretty fast. I remember Clyde coming up to us saying he has to bail on us to take Butters home. The kid was a one beer queer and was going dead down. We should've went with them.  
Wendy convinced me otherwise,  
"They are drunk so they shouldn't be driving and I am NOT leaving this early and we can just call a cab later. It'll be easier and better. I'm having too much fun!" She did have a point, it wouldn't have been a good idea for them to drive us home drunk, but in retrospect they did get home safe. I could've used that safe ride.

* * *

His name I remember because I told myself: Drunk people can't ever remember names the next day and I was going to prove that wrong. So did I remember the next day? Not exactly. I cheated by looking at the name I put with the new number in my phone. I couldn't tell you how on earth it got there.  
It had to be around three A.M. Wendy and I stepped outside for some air. The night air was refreshing compared to inside where we were being smothered by the heavy smell of sweat, puke and cigarettes. I embraced the cool air that surrounded my body and that's when I saw him leaning against the brick, puffing away at a stick of fire. I hate smoking. I think it's disgusting. I walked right up to him and began to talk. Next thing I know the conversation took a turn such as this: 

"You have a tongue ring?" I slurred.

"Yea, I just told you that before."

"No way, let me see!" I got way too excited as if I've never met someone with a tongue ring before.

This was followed by me grabbing his face and sticking my tongue in his mouth, which he didn't seem to mind at all. I hate tongue rings. I think they are gross.  
Wendy had preoccupied herself with a tall, lanky, very white fellow. Where was I going now? Oh, to his car. I never told you his name. It was Dante. I didn't figure it out at the time cause I couldn't think clearly, but when I asked him to buy me a drink he said, I have drinks in the car." On our way through the parking lot I kept glancing back and seeing flashes of Wendy's black hair trying to follow us. She kept shouting, "Where are you going!" But we were too far ahead and I couldn't form words to answer.

* * *

In the car he was on top of me. Kissing my neck and feeling me up under my shirt. I guess him telling me that the car was his own, stood as true as the drinks being there. We were interrupted when two guys, I assumed were his friends, tapped on the glass. 

"Motherfuckers!" He yelled.

They somehow got the door open and dragged him out. I quickly shuffled out on my own to avoid being handled. Dante got up and brushed himself off. Without a word he grabbed my arm and we started walking towards a near by park. I, not knowing the neighborhood had no clue this place existed. As we walked I put my hands down his pockets. I found the whole thing at the time hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. Trust me- I do look back and ask myself: What the hell?

* * *

A park bench. That's where he climbed back on top of me. It started to drizzle. It wasn't a cold heavy rain. It was a light dewy warm rain that you'd go for a walk in during a summer evening. The kind I enjoyed. I was more focused on that then anything else. I barely noticed when he pulled down my plaid mini skirt. With my bare ass touching the bench, he asked, 

"You want to?"

Hmmmmm did I give the impression that I wasn't a virgin? Yes you say? Well oops my  
bad. And shame on you for judging me! Just kidding. So far I am for your information. Wendy is the one who is a whore- I still love her though. I don't mind fooling around with a guy, but I do want to save myself... that is I did. Of course what should've been going through my mind wasn't and instead all I could think was, wow. Someone is willing to have sex with me. I better get it over with now so I don't die a virgin. And that's what took place on a park bench.  
Was it pleasurable? No. Did it hurt like hell? Yes. Is that what I expected? Half yes and half no. All I basically did was lie there and laugh. Yeah, I was laughing like crazy because I just couldn't believe this was happening to me. I rather felt like I was watching it happen to someone else. Even still, to this day, I don't understand what I found so funny.  



	3. Chapter 3

Wendy found me. I don't know how, but I was so grateful. This time she was with that tall lanky guy (who's name was Hank) and Hank's friend. She dragged me away from Dante, scolding me as we staggered back to the parking lot. 

"How could you let a guy like that get in your pants! He was clearly just looking to get some ass. Did you even use protection!"

"Like you should talk..." I thought- oh shit! I said that outloud!

"He had a condom!" I tried to wriggle from her grasp.

I was fucking pissed. Here I just lost my virginity and all she could do was tell me things I've already come to a conclusion about. Suddenly really thinking about it my mood changed and I started to cry my eyes out. Great here it comes... my emo drunk stage... My legs felt weak and I could no longer stand up on my own. I collapsed in a small rain puddle in the middle of the parking lot refusing to budge.

"Yo, what's wrong with this girl? Get her up! Cops are near by."

That's all the guys were concerned about. Hearing them say that though motivated me to try and stand. The last thing I needed was to deal with the fucking cops. Wendy knelt down to give me a lift, but she slipped and collapsed into the puddle besides me. She quickly stood back up.

"Ewe, I can't do it. Why don't you help her Hank!"

She gave him a shove. I thought he was just going to help me up, but he took me by surprise when I got thrown up in the air over his shoulders. We neared a black car. That's all I can tell you about it is the color, I don't know jack shit about cars. It was definitely nothing fancy though. Hank placed me down and that's when I noticed Dante had been following us. I slurred his name and threw myself around him.

"No Bebe! Get in the car!"

"Noooooooooo." I whaled and tightened my grip on Dante even tighter. Whether he was just standing there or pushing me away; I was unaware.

Next thing I knew there was a sharp pain from the back of my head. I let go of Dante and the two other guys grabbed me from behind and tossed me into the back seat. I started kicking wildly, but only managed to dent the door they had closed behind me. My intoxication had proven to slow my reflexes and I didn't get up in time to try reopen the door before they could put the child safety lock on. And I can't even figure out how a child safety lock works sober. Hank got in the passenger seat and his friend was driving. I turned to see Wendy besides me. (Dante who?)

"Here, this is yours."

She handed me a chunk of my blond curly hair. I laughed, feeling the back of my head for a bald spot.

"Oh, my God!" I sputtered. "You bitch- my hair!"  
Wendy leaned in towards me.

"Hey, want to do something funny?"

Before I could answer she leaned all the way in, a bit too close for comfort. I shut my eyes and could feel the car swerve.

"Holy shit! Don't be making out while I'm driving!"

Wendy and I laughed so hard.

"We'll you should've been paying attention to the road." I leaned back and saw colors moving fast past the window.

"You KNEW we HAD to look!"

I shrugged my shoulders. Hank leaned back and whispered something to Wendy. She didn't seem to have a response.

"So, Bebe is your name?"

I darted my eyes at him quickly not realizing I was being talked to.

"Uh, yea."

"What do you think of my friend, Pete?"

I was completely confused. I sipped my drink... where it came from I'm not sure. Where my judgment went to know not to take a drink from a stranger- I don't know.

"Who's that?"

"That's me." The guy in the driver's seat bellowed.

What did I think of him? I realized I never properly did observe him so I did at that moment. He had tan skin, buzz cut hair and thin mustache.

"He's not my type."

I was being totally serious saying this, but Hank thought it was hilarious. All Pete did was scowl and replied,  
"Yeah, well we'll see about that."

* * *

I woke up to the voices of Pete, Hank and Wendy. And with my incredible hangover, you can imagine I wasn't too happy. I slowly assessed where I was. It looked like the TV room of a house. I was on the carpet floor- under a blanket- naked! And Pete was lying next to me too- also very naked. Wendy and Hank were on the couch next to us under covers, I assumed they where naked.

"Look who's up."

Everyone stared at me.

"What's going on?" I rubbed my eyes and pulled the sheets closer to my body.

Wendy had a smile on her face.

"We were just arguing about how you were a cock block."

"Cock block? What the fuck?" I couldn't believe I had to wake up to this shit.

"Yeah, you were with that other guy, Dante, before and I can't get laid unless Pete can get some too."

"I can't believe I'm fucking hearing this. Wendy what time is it?"

"Like six something."

"Holy shit!" I jumped up and started hunting for clothes to put on.

"We have to get the fuck back to your house!"

"Yea, ok, calm down." Wendy got up and slowly got dressed, meanwhile promising to call the guys later.

I found my way into a kitchen and spotted a door, but an angry mexican lady stood in my way. Before I could even think about what to do, she started screaming in Spanish and waving a wooden spoon at us. I pushed Wendy out back into a hallway and Pete waved us over to the front door. We got out of there gasping for air. I turned to Pete.  
"Who was that!"

"My stepmom. That bitch thinks she owns the place. Don't pay her any attention."

Pete opened the door to his car to let us in.

"Good thing we helped you guys out or else she would've beat your heads in with that wooden spoon."

Everyone found this funny, but me.

"How did you guys think you were getting home anyway all the way from Denver?"

"Denver! We're in fucking Denver?" I looked around not recognizing the neighborhood, which made sense.

"Don't worry we are giving you a ride."

"I wanna get some Taco Bell first." Hank through in.

-----------------

I wake up. Again. Wendy's house. I'm on the floor of her room... ewe I'm on the floor of her room!

See Wendy's house isn't exactly what you'd call clean. Now that Wendy's dad lost his job and they are poor, well she's adopted the white trash way of life. Not that I have anything against white trash people, obviously I'm not cause I'm friends with her. But she has the whole bed in the front room going on, extended family living in the small house, kitty litter strewn all over the floor, people don't bother taking off their shoes, miracle whip instead of mayo... I could go on. Hey either you get what I'm talking about or you don't. It's ok.

The point is I spring up a little too fast for my own good. Why do I feel like shit? Alcohol... dehydration... right I need water!

I must still be a bit wasted cause I can't seem to walk straight and everything is spinning. I staggered down the stairs holding on to the railing for dear life. In her kitchen I make my way over to her sink. I turn the tap on and just put my mouth right under that thing.

Five minutes later...

Crap... I don't feel good.

I huddle in the corner of Wendy's dinning room. Wooden floors are easiest to clean- I can't keep it down. I hurl back up all the water.

When I'm finished, I notice Wendy behind me with a mop. I brace for her to yell at me.

"Awwww Bebe. It's ok. Your not the first to throw up here and you won't be the last." She was smiling.  
Wendy can be a good friend. I lie back down while she mops up my mess.

I realize I have to hurry.

My mom is coming to pick my up. I shower in Wendy's nasty shower. I practice being sober. I am temporarily healed.


	4. Chapter 4

_About a week later..._

I lean againist a dashboard and fiddle with knob to find a good song on the radio. I am going over the conversation I had with Wendy on the phone. 

_"What's wrong? Didn't you have fun? It was fucking INSANE."_

I had said yeah, but honestly it wasn't. I don't think I was expecting to have fun. That may have been her goal, but not mine. I was looking to come home in a body bag, only living through press coverage...- haha I sound like a pussy goth kid.

"Bebe, quit it. I was listening to that."

In the driver seat next to me was Nelson. Just some random I met online and befriended. Let's face it myspace is evil, haha. This is only the second time hanging with him. He didn't turn out to be a serial killer the first time, since I'm obviously still alive, so I figured why not chill with the kid again? He tries to act older then he really is. I think it's kind of cute. The only problem is he's a complete dick head and last time made me er... go down on him or he wouldn't drive me home. And believe me he made sure it was my last and only resort... He later apologized for it when I revealed in an IM convo that I didn't find it amusing or kinky at all- can you believe he actually thought I enjoyed it! Guys are dumb.

"You ok shorty? You seem a bit tense."

"I'm fine, it's just been a long day. I leaned my head back to fully appreciate the wind blowing in my hair. I imagined I looked pretty damn hot with my sunglasses on. I didn't care it was pitch dark late at night. Strange how the littlest things can give me a pinch of self-esteem.  
I glance over at the speedometer. We were going at 103mph and we weren't even on a highway yet. Suddenly I remember him telling me his actual car was in the shop.

"Nelson?"  
"Yea, Bebe?"  
"I was wondering why is your other car in the shop?"  
"I trashed it street racing."  
"I see..."  
"Why you asking?"  
"No reason... just wondering."

Even if my life did flash before my eyes I wouldn't have had one of those epiphanies. I could ask him to slow down, but I don't. Just as I'm contemplating this, I am thrown off guard. I slam into the dashboard. I put my hands out in front of me to minimize the amount of force I'm about to feel when my head smacks againist the windshield.

"What the hell was that!" I shouted.

I got out to look around expecting to see the other car we smashed into. Instead nothing. I spin around doing 360s. Nothing, but our skid marks. I calm down and watch Nelson get out of the car and walk up to me. He puts his arms around me.

"Bebe, what are you doing? Get back in the car."

He leads me towards it and all I can do is wave my arms around.

"Was there another car that ran a red light or something!"  
"No, I ran a red light."  
"Huh?"  
"There was no other car, I just realized I've been running red lights so I hit the brake a little too hard."  
"A little too hard!"  
"Do you think there are camera's on this road?"  
"... I'm ready to go home now."

-------------------------------

Somehow he talked me out of going home. Back in the car I shook my head at him in disbelief. There is no point in calling him out in his stupidity though. The only injury I had luckily was a bruised knee. He picked a spot to park that had been tucked away by a broken street light. He tried making all sorts of moves on me, some I can't believe. Unlike last time, I wasn't drunk and when I'm sober that voice in my head is still there. Well not exactly a voice, more like a bad gut feeling. I guess it's the old me inside screaming,  
"Go home! Get out of the car!"

I've told her like a millions times to shutup and relax. She is very persitant though. I just lost my virginity last week on a park bench, what the hell is the point of anything anymore? This whole past week I tried to forget it, I tried to forget how badly I fucked up- literally- but the nightmares kept happening. I couldn't believe how drunk I had gotten. The sad part is I remember most of it. If I was aware of it, then why the hell did I let it happen? Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes!- they can't be taken back... She just needs to get it through her head that I just don't care anymore. I'll mentally slap her and she'll go crawling back, quiety recoiling into the coner that she came from. She'll come out again though and the process repeats. Sometimes I do get just as scared as she does. Sometimes I really do want to listen and stop this freaking game I'm playing. I convince myself otherwise. I can look back and see how uhhappy she was. She points out I'm still uhhappy. To that I don't reply.

-------------------------------

He IMed me out of nowhere. No, not Nelson. I don't think I'll be seening him ever again. It was Kyle. It has been a couple years. Why now?  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL:** hey  
**xxblondvixenxx11:** O?  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL: **this sn was on my buddy list, sry but who is this?  
_(me: ouch... that's why...)_  
**xxblondvixenxx11:** um this is Bebe...  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL: **oh wow, sup?  
**xxblondvixenxx11:** hi, nm  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL:** that's all I get?  
**xxblondvixenxx11:** geeze sry- how about how are u?  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL:** please don't humor me  
**xxblondvixenxx11:** um... ok  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL:** i'm gonna cut straight to it, please hear me out  
**xxblondvixenxx11:** k...  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL:** we were good friends  
**xxblondvixenxx11: **'WERE' being the key word  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL:** i thought we still would be when high school started, but u changed over the years  
**xxblondvixenxx11:** yea i guess so, i'm sry we grew apart  
_(me: pretending i dunt care)_  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL:** it's not about that, i'm concerned for u  
**xxblondvixenxx11: **excuse me?  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL:** wat happened to the girl that i knew?  
**xxblondvixenxx11:** ... this is about u  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL:** huh?  
**xxblondvixenxx11:** I drifted apart from u on purpose. i couldn't take it anymore. i was in love so much it hurt  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL: **why are u blattly admitting this to me now? i thought u wanted to just be friends, then u completely fell outta touch.  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL:** blatantly  
**xxblondvixenxx11:** cause I have nothing to lose  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL:** I did like u Bebe, i'm sry I could never tell u  
**xxblondvixenxx11:** u wat?  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL: **i still like u  
**xxblondvixenxx11:** ...wow really?  
**xxblondvixenxx11:** i don't believe u  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL:** please just hang out with me for one day so we can talk more in person  
**xxblondvixenxx11:** alrite  
_(me: this is so odd...)_  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL:** i just don't wanna see something bad happen to u  
**xxblondvixenxx11:** thanx, that means a lot coming from u  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL:** free tomm aournd 3pm?  
**xxblondvixenxx11:** sure  
**xxblondvixenxx11: **after school, in the park where the gang used to play?  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL:** sounds good, see u then  
**xxblondvixenxx11:** k, gtg, bye  
**JeWsCaNbeCoOL:** bye  
_(me: ... WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? AHHHHHHHHHHHH!)_

-----------------------------------------------

I hugged my jacket to my body. Just last week it was nice, but today was chilly like autumn for some reason. I decided to get there early. The sooner I find out what he wants the better. I can't sit still so walk around surveying the park. It's so old and run down. Kids don't come here anymore. They have their video games and TV and computers... It's the park time forgot, out dated by technology. I see figures- pretend ghosts, of my elementary school classmates running around. I almost feel the need to cry. Almost. I make my way over to the hand ball court. Behind this wall hidden from eyes is where Kyle and I shared our first kiss. One that wasn't forced by a dare. He did it because he wanted to and so did I. As I come around to the other side of the wall, I spot a note on the ground, kept in place by a rock. It's folded over once and the outside says,_ "I knew you'd find this here." ;)_  
And on the inside:  
_Bebe,  
You were something- no someone. A someone I could've spent my whole life dedicating to making happy. Making you laugh and smile. What was stopping me from telling you all this? Back then I didn't exactly want to make such a commitment and admit any sort of feelings no matter how real they got. Come on, we were both immature pre-teens... we could've handled a relationship if we tried. It was simple fear. I look back now and I get so angry at myself, to the point where I have nothing but pure hatred for myself. How could I have let one feeling over power my love for you? How could I let it stop me from at least telling you I cared? I really truly with all my heart and soul cared. And you didn't deserve the bullshit other guys gave you. I heard the rumors... I'm not saying you deserved me. No, you deserve the best, but least I would've known how to treat you. At the time everything seemed so unsure. Still I beat myself up for not taking a chance. You would've been worth it. Now every moment I think back to the night you just wanted me to say those three words... Instead I let you slip by. My heart feels so empty and I don't think I will ever feel this way about anyone again. I went out with other girls, I tried getting over you- but nothing, nothing ever worked. No one could replace you.  
I see you once in awhile. In a store or the arcade or library or restaurant... We run into each other a lot actually. It's a small town. You used to at least smile and wave. Now you pretend not to see me. Before you were what I'd call my female best friend. I want to start over. Start over with me Bebe. If you choose to do so, meet me at my house right NOW. I want our love to be right now and not miss another minute. If not I hope we can be friends again. Yours truly,  
Kyle_

_"Yours truly..."_- I'm his... I run to his house at top speed.  



	5. Chapter 5

_A month later..._

I put down my plate of pasta I was about to microwave to stop the incessant ringing of the phone. I grab the reciever, hoping Kyle isn't canceling on me.  
"Hello?"  
"Bebe sweetie what's up?"  
I smile inside. It's Wendy.  
"Nothing really. I was gonna eat something."  
"Good then you can come to this open house kegger with me!"  
I pause. Lately I haven't been hanging out with her much cause that's all she does. How long can I avoid these things before she thinks I don't want to be her friend anymore? I do. Wendy was the one who understood. She's the one who cared. The one who took me under her wing and had my back no matter what. Was I abandoning her?  
"I'm sorry, but Kyle and I were-"  
I hear her throw something across her room.  
"Really Bebe! Come on! You are spending way too much time with him!"  
"I'm sorry... I love him... We had plans I can't just-"  
Wendy breathed deeply into the reciever. I could sense in her voice that she couldn't help smiling at what she interpreted to be my naiveness.  
"Aw, I'm sorry for getting upset. It's just I couldn't find anyone to go with me on this one. I did have a feeling you'd be busy, but I decided to try anyways."  
"Nice to know I am your last resort." I chuckled.  
"It's not like that-"  
"I know, I'm joking." I twirl my fingers in the phone cord and then manage to get them stuck.  
"Ok, then I gotta go. I'm pretty sure my old crush Stan is going to be there, along with the rest of the football team. So if I don't have any lucky with him, there is a whole lot more where it came from."  
Somehow I sensed her winking.  
"Sounds awesome. Have fun." I tried to sound sincere.  
"Girl you know I will."  
"See you at work this Friday."  
I hang up and am given a slight heart attack.  
"Kyle! You scared me!"  
I wrap my arms around him and collapse all my weight onto him. I feel he embraces me back.  
"That's what you get for leaving your door wide open."  
We sat down and I offered him some of my leftovers, but he refused.  
"Wendy went out tonight. She invited me. I'm thinking of going after all."  
"Going where?"  
I stared down at the pasta. It was floating in sause. Mom always made it too watery.  
"Going to this party. I think it's for the football team at your school."  
"Oh, yea Stan went."  
"Wendy mentioned him. I didn't know she meant Stan Marsh. Wow, that's a name from the past. Are you guys still friends?"  
Kyle nodded, "Still best friends. I told him about you. He couldn't believe it."  
"Heck neither can I." I got up to put my dishes in the sink.  
"Bebe."  
"Yea, Kyle?"  
"I don't want you going."  
I slam the dishes down. The sound of it makes him jump.  
"You're doing it again!"  
He stands up, "Doing what?"  
"I can make my own decisions."  
"I know I just-"  
"Please get out."  
He looks at me in confusion. I make things clearer by pointing to the door. He walks out and I can't believe what I've just done. I finally have someone to make me happy, but I'm being a moody bitch. I just don't like him telling me what to do. We've been fighting about my drinking for awhile now... he says I won't do it anymore if I really love him...

* * *

_Dear Kyle,  
This is a letter I will be handing to you (don't ask). I just want you to know that I'm sorry for snapping at you. I know you just care about me and I over reacted. You know I don't like being told what to do... I wasn't really going to show up at that party. You know I rather spend my whole night with you. I want to spend every moment with you Kyle. It's only when I'm with you do I feel happy. When I'm with you I know that's where I want to be. I love you 3 xoxo,  
Bebe_

* * *

I met Kyle at his house like he told me to. He called me this morning saying it was important we have a talk. I have the letter ready. I'm no good with confrontation or words in general for that matter. He lets me in without saying a word and points my in the direction of his room. I stop short in the doorway.  
"Stan? What are you doing here?"  
He gets off from the bed and gives me a weak smile. He looks exactly like I remembered him, but more built like you'd expect a football player to be. I turn around searching Kyle's face for an explaination.  
"Maybe you should sit down Bebe."  
They make me sit on the bed.  
"What's going on? Is there something I missed?"  
Kyle and Stan exchange glances.  
"Kyle I thought this was about us." I stare up at him, wanting him to explain.  
Kyle sat down next to me and placed an arm around my back.  
"There's something you need to know."  
Part of me already knows, but isn't sure. Part of me doesn't even want to know and another part of me will kill to find out. I can already feel the sickness in my stomach rising up. He was making me nervous. I open my mouth to ask what happened, but it's so dry the words never escape my lips. Tears swell up in his eyes. They slowly trickle down his cheeks and one sticks to his nose. He lowers his head.  
"Stan please... I- I can't." Kyle holds me tighter and I stare up at Stan with wide eyes. As if silently pleading him to tell me. To say it.  
"Bebe," He starts. "Wendy is dead."

* * *

I continue to cry. The room is so cold and metalic. They said it was a male suspect. They knew I was close to her. They want to know everything. It's all over the news. I had to tell them everything. There were so many nights though, so many guys. I know we'll never find him. I feel like I should've gone with her or told her not to go. I should've reached out to her, told her to stop. I shouldn't have let her go alone. She always had my back- always. And I just forgot about her. As soon as I got what I wanted out of life, I blocked out anything that reminded me of pain. She was my friend though. Kyle says there was nothing I could've done. I might have been killed too. Might have. If it wasn't for him, his love, I would've been Wendy. A tragedy on a TV screen.

* * *

_Dearest Kyle (letter you are to recieve- my own private joke),  
I know now love is real. I look around and see people together. It may take a while, but it happens. Some people are just luckier and find it quicker then others. First you have to learn to love yourself. Why do destructive things just for the sake of being destructive? There is more to life. It may be painful, but if you can take what you can from it, you can end up with a beautiful thing. When you least expect it, is when you recieve it. I think if people suffer so much heartbreak, it's because that's the only way to appreciate the real love you will have later. Kyle you saved me. I don't know how you found your way back into my life. I didn't know we used to both have secret crushes on each other. You were right there all along. There has to be fate. Kyle you are a miricle. Kyle you saved me. It could've been me... The End,  
__ Bebe _


End file.
